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*Somebody told us that Wall
Street fell,
But we were so poor that we couldn't tell.
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-Alabama (Randy Owen, Teddy Gentry, Jeff
Cook, and Bennett Vartanian)
Southern Star, 1989
"Song of the South"
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~SCRIPTURES, n. The
sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and
profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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-Ambrose Bierce
The Devil's Dictionary, 1906
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O wad some power the giftie gie us, to see
oursel's as others see us.
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-Robert Burns
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The hen is an egg's way of producing another
egg.
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-Samuel Butler
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When asked by an anthropologist what the
Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply,
'Ours.'
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-Vine Deloria, Jr.
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If the Aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of
Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
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-Stanley Garn
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He who knows no foreign language knows
nothing of his own.
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-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The optimist sees the glass as half-full:
The pessimist sees the glass as half-empty.
The opportunist is the one who drank the water,
Fulfilling the cynics prediction of him stealing the water.
The idealist is the one who's certain there's more to be found,
While I, the realist, get stuck washing the damn glass.
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-Robert J. Hanson
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What should they know of England, who only
England know?
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-Rudyard Kipling
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I guess I'm like the venerable old warrior
Chief of the Great Six Nations, who announced his retirement by saying, "I
am like an old hemlock. My head is still high, but the winds of close to a
hundred winters have whistled through my branches, and I have been witness
to many wondrous and many tragic things. My eyes perceive the present, but
my roots are imbedded deeply in the grandeur of the past.
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-Lawrence S. Ritter
The Glory of Their Times, 1966
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I think on-stage nudity is disgusting,
shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a
great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive
religious experience.
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-Shelley Winters
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with
the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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-Steven Wright
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*It is said there are
flowers that bloom only once in a hundred years. Why should there not be
some that bloom once in a thousand, in ten thousand years Perhaps we never
knew about them simply because this "once in a thousand years" has come only
today?
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- D-503, the hero in Yevgeny Zamyatin's
We, 1920-1921
Twenty-Third Entry
Mirra Ginsburg, trans., 1972
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